Joke of the Day

[wiredantz]

Another one from Mike / Mickfish

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep

down , I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out

again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my kayak which I keep next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Kayak, that I noticed a small hole in the side just above the water line.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

[Bert Vega]

That was great thanks!!!

[blitzburgh]

LMFAO

[WildernessWanker]

Absolutely awesome! This made my morning.

[Cadillyak]

Just what I needed. LOL!

[GR6RR]

awesome! but what happened with the wife? ROFL....

[J3FFro]

Forget the wife, the hole in the kayak takes priority.. :D

[wiredantz]

Two days before the group is to leave Mooch's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Mooch's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the friends get to the camping site only to find Mooch sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire.

"Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday! Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"

I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.

She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes!

She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said "do what ever you want."

Here I am!

[makobob]

NICE

[WildernessWanker]

I'm loving the jokes!

[rieffer]

Too Funny!

[wiredantz]

A California senior citizen drove his brand new Red
Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down 110 fwy, pushing
the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway
patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him. No problem!" Thought the
elderly gent as he floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 mph.

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm
too old for this nonsense!"

He then pulled over to the side of the FWY and
waited for the Trooper to catch up.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the
driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my
shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a
reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Officer, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a California Highway Patrol Officer. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the Officer.

[kayachapi]

Thank You.:)

[J3FFro]

"Hand cuff me to the bed and do whatever you want".... classic!! hahah

[GR6RR]

ROFL! Both the new jokes are funny as shit. You sir, got 2 thumbs up! I told a friend to tell the CHP that he needed to take a shit when we got pulled over one time.....

should have used the wife excuse. LOL

[ericko]

Well done frank the last two got me laughing..

[wiredantz]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/3XjUFYxSxDk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>