Gov.'s Bodyguard Capture Shark
 

CALIFORNIA: The newly elected Governor of California, Jerry Brown is walking along the beach walking his dog along the shores of Santa Monica. A leopard shark tails beside the Governor's leg bites it and his dog. The dog yelps out loud.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Jaws” and then realizes he should stop; the shark is only doing what is natural.

2. His body guard steps in who proceeds to wrestle the leopard shark, captures it and turns it over to animal control. Animals control takes the shark to the Scripps Research Center, tests it for disease and bills the State $200 for the tests and $500 for releasing the shark with all news agencies present.

3. He calls a veterinarian for his dog. The vet collects the wounded dog and bills the State $200 for his time.

4. The Governor goes to ER and spends $3,500 getting checked and his bite wound bandaged.

5. The beach gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous marine animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds to implement a “shark awareness” program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study sharks in the ocean, how to conserve sharks throughout the world and putting up a Shark Reserve in the area.

8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for manhandling the shark, stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor get bit.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of sharks.

10. PETA protests the shark's capture and files suit against the State for inhumane treatment of the shark. Legal bills still accumulating.

TEXAS: The Governor of Texas is walking along the coast his dog. A sharks jumps out, bites the Governor’s leather boot, and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor stabs the shark with his bowie knife and throws the carcass back into the water.

2. Crabs eat the dead shark.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: