[BigAppa]

Well, I guess I'll pop my posting cherry for this one. First off, I'd like to sincerely thank BWE contributors for all the advice they've given in this forum. From the advice I've picked up here - rigging tips, launching spots, fishing techniques, etc. etc. etc. - I've been able to take a lifelong casual hobby and turn it into a passion. So again, to all those who have shared your knowledge, thank you.

I've been kayak fishing for about a year and a half now, and I've fished all along the Southern California coast, from Gaviota to La Jolla in many different types of conditions. For the last two weeks, I hadn't been able to get out due to family, work, and weather conditions. If I go more than a week off the water, I'm a jittery wreck, obsessively checking BWE, rewatching Youtube videos, checking surf reports, just to feed my addiction a little bit. So when I saw a small window of opportunity this past Tuesday morning, I took it.

I checked the usual reports, showed up at Leo Carrillo, checked the conditions, and launched into easy 1 to 2 footers. The wind was blowing about 8 knots, there were a few white caps, the swells were about 3 to 4 feet. I knew the wind was supposed to pick up later, but I thought it was fishable as long as I'm off by one. I had become pretty comfortable with this place, having launched from there about 50 times or so over the last year and a half, and I had fished in similar conditions. So I started my paddle out.

About a mile offshore, the conditions started to change. That's when the words I've read here many times, and repeated again in this thread by Jim Sammons, occurred to me: "There will be other days to fish." I should have listened to my instincts then and turned around, but I figured I'm almost there. I'll just take a look at the bottom and see what I can find. Of all the advice that have been given on this site, that is one of the most important to me: Remember that there will be other days to fish. I should have listened to it, but I decided to ignore it because I thought I could handle whatever situation arose, and because of this decision, I came as close to losing my life as I ever have.

I finally get to the spot, paddled around a bit looking for marks, and decided screw it, it's getting way too sketchy. I started heading back without making a drop. Instantly, I knew this was going to be trouble. The winds had picked up to what felt like over 25 knots. Swells were about 5-6 feet and breaking at the top, but worst of all, these swells were hitting me from all sides: the very definition of washing machine conditions. I was getting knocked around badly, And I came close to flipping several times. I managed to paddle to about a mile offshore when a series of swells hit me. I lost my balance, and a small wave broadsided me at that exact moment, and I went into the water.

I was wearing a pfd so I bobbed right up, and luckily, the leash on my fishing pole had wrapped around my leg so the kayak didn't get a chance to drift away. This is the part that is the most frightening when I think about this moment: The currents were so strong, I wonder, what if the kayak had drifted away from me? What would have happened? Even though I'm in decent shape, there was no way I could have swum back to shore, not in those conditions. I do always have my vhf radio with gps and dsc with me, so I probably would have been okay, but who the hell knows?

Anyway, thankfully, I was smart enough in at least one respect: I had practiced self-rescuing techniques multiple times in different conditions as per the suggestions on this board. But, in those conditions, it was still a challenge. My first attempt failed. Didn't get high enough. Still not worried. Tried again, got most of my body on board, when a swell came and tipped me over again. Tried a third time, and the same result. Now I'm getting worried. I was clinging to the kayak, in the middle of those swells, and thought about making a Mayday call for the first time ever because I'm getting tired. Really tired. I'm in my forties. I think I'm in pretty good shape for my age, but it's amazing how quickly your energy saps in those conditions. I tried one more time, and I managed to stay on followed by a huge sigh of relief.

It took me another hour to paddle back to shore, almost flipping multiple times along the way bc now I had water in my hull. When I finally pulled my kayak onto the beach, I just sat there for a good thirty minutes, just feeling numb.

I haven't told my family about this. I don't really see the point of worrying them needlessly. I just told a good buddy of mine and now this community. It's actually quite embarrassing talking about this, how stupid I was, but hopefully, other new or relatively new kayak fishermen can take something away from this experience.

So heed the warnings that have been repeated here on multiple occasions about fishing with a buddy (another huge mistake on my part), vhf radio, how overconfidence can kill you, etc. And especially for pig-headed people like me, always remember that there will be other days to fish.

Now, if the conditions look bad from the start, and I have to ask myself, "Should I just wait?" Or if I'm already out on the water and the condition takes a turn for the worse, and I wonder "Should I head back in?" The answer will always be, "Yes."